There is no such thing as being self-made. Sometimes we hear the claim but if you think about it, doing business involves the exchange of services, time, and money between two or more people. You can’t do business alone, even if you work for yourself. At some point you have to make valuable connections and make them work for you. But people aren’t machines, we can’t simply establish a connection and then expect all the rewards to fall at our feet. To make a connection work for you and valuable for you then it’s important to build trust.
Trust is directly related to likeability and respect. One of them always leads to the other and you can’t build on one if you don’t have the others either. If we want people to take the time and effort to give us a fair hearing, if we want them to believe a word we say, we need to build trust. We need to be respected and liked if we want to be trusted. If we want a person to pass our name along to an established figure in the industry we want then that person needs to feel safe to do so. They have to trust that we will not bring negativity in any form to the person they share our name with.
What separates a painting by an unknown office worker from Rotherham from a painting by a celebrated artist that sells for thousands first hand? When someone buys a painting for a serious amount of money, they have put a lot of trust in the artist. They do not want to be the person who paid a huge sum for the silly picture, they want to buy the concept, the name, and the rapport that goes with the art. Being displayed in a high profile auction is often not enough to establish the trust needed to get the big sale. Customers want something else; they want to have heard of you for good reasons.
Building networks that resonate with your good intentions involves a lot of work. Some of us are naturally extroverted and gladly soak up social attention all day long. Others are more reserved and build up social energy to be used at only the most appropriate times. No matter how you move forward, there are some essential aspects to networking that must be considered in order to get the trust you deserve. Not many people trust completely without evidence, and this means we have to be the one to provide it.
We are all on our own personal journey. Everyone we meet has a plan, a list of goals, and a desire for something they have not yet achieved. We have one too. There are ways of helping other people that result in helping us too. This isn’t about doing a favour in order to get one back, it’s about unifying your cause to align with other people’s in order to benefit both without infringing on each other’s progress. If people ask for favours then by all means ask for one in return, it’s just not a good idea to give them as pre-payment as people can feel pressured and manipulated. People in your field often have similar goals to you and so it makes sense to work together where possible. This builds relationships and shows that you have a good methodology.
Working with others so closely can leave us vulnerable. We don’t want them to see that we too are human and sometimes get things wrong. This is counter-intuitive to building trust. The reality is that we all make mistakes and the only difference is in how we deal with them. If we can accept them, correct them, and learn from them, then we can show that our intentions are always for the best result. Being able to see that others are also not perfect and not make a scene about it will also help to build trust. Other people want to feel safe to be themselves.
It's not all about you. Other people are just as keen to progress on their agenda as you are with yours. It’s a good idea to show active interest in other people’s projects and journeys. Be a good friend, find out how things are going on and be able to make useful suggestions. Even if you can’t think of something particularly helpful or useful then you help to build trust by nature of your intentions. Make it your business to support other people’s business, what ever that happens to be. It’s not always about making a living; some are just looking to make something useful or interesting. Make sure you can identify the goals a person is working towards, or you may lead them in the wrong direction.
It’s a natural relationship and not a forced one. Imposing yourself on people because you think they’ll be useful is only going to push them away. We need to take our time and look for valid openings that bridge the gaps. Boastful or domineering conversations will not put you in a good light. In professional circles, everyone is exceptionally good at what they do. It’s a standard that you just must accept. If you come across as full of yourself or over-confident then people will find it hard to trust you with anything important. If just being talented or highly trained goes to your head then a bit of responsibility might be too much to handle.
When it comes to asking for help, which is only natural and perfectly normal much in the way this website asks for your kind contributions on every page, be clear as to what it’s for. Your aim is the reason you want the job done or the help needed and this makes a difference as to whether others will want to provide this. Make it clear that you have a task to complete or a target to reach and you could do with some kind of support towards this. It’s up to others to decide if they want to give support or do a favour, and to what extent or not. If you can be trusted then it’s more likely that people will be happy to assist you.
This makes transparency highly valuable. Only the untrustworthy find the need to cover things up and so by being transparent in your activity others can see that you are legitimate. Always explain your purpose and method to the best of your ability in communications and make sure that the work is done to follow up on the idea. A good idea isn’t worth anything until it is implemented. Make it available to see that the idea is good and that it is being actively pursued. Be an open door that others can walk through and find out all about you and your integrity.
Looking for a good network starts at the beginning and within time it’s a good possibility you’ll have made some useful contacts. Although you want to keep these to yourself as a part of your plan, the act of connecting others is a useful way of fortifying these relationships and building trust between them. By being open about who you know and willing to connect them with new clients and other businesses or ventures we become professionally connected as a hub rather than just a node. This ultimately helps others learn that you are a genuine influence for the benefit of everyone.
To be a fluid connection in your network, it’s important to remember to not be one-sided. Some of us naturally give and give without asking for anything in return. If we can’t align our efforts to work to a shared goal, then there should be an exchange of effort or energy involved that benefits both parties. Finding the balance in this situation is a task that is achieved over time. Being of value gets you so far so don’t forget to see the value in others too. Shared values bring better results. There will always be less glamorous work to do that involves the nuts and bolts of your project. Don’t be afraid to spend time on this work and to be available to help others do theirs. Fair weather friends can sometimes only be trusted to show up when things are going well.
We get to grips with what other people are working on, what their needs are, and what they aim to achieve by talking to them. Relaxed and friendly conversation is the best way to build a sense of genuine rapport. Time will tell if there’s anything you can work with them on or anything they can do for you or your contacts. If you just make a friend and nothing more you are still up from where you were before. When we talk to people, we learn about them and their methods. By listening intently and visualising what they say in an active manner we can create a good picture of their direction and needs. This way we can also learn how others go about solving the problems that you might have in your own life.
When talking with others and building connections, we should show a passion for our own work. When people can see that we have an emotional involvement with our purpose and direction they will feel able to trust that we mean what we say. To be trusted with our direction, we need to demonstrate that we care about it and that the end result really matters to us. It’s a necessary step to take in order to imprint the idea that you work on a certain thing for a certain reason and that others can empathise with this reason for themselves. This way we offer proof that any energy sent in our direction will not be wasted.
They say it’s not what you know but who you know. Getting to know people can sometimes take time and a keen eye for opportunity. It goes further than this, it’s not who you know but how you treat them. If we treat those we know with the respect and trust they deserve and make ourselves available to them as a service and an individual then these qualities will be reciprocated in time. Everyone is doing their best to get on and make their targets and it might take a while for others to fully acknowledge you or your usefulness in their story. It’s vital not to rush and just let things flow in a natural way. By working hard and staying in touch everyone will see that you’re worth their time and energy.
Meeting God In The Middle
By Rowan B. Colver.
The first book to be published under the Homunculus Media label, Meeting God In The Middle explores this human subject with a respectful and thought-provoking commentary.
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From the back of the book:
When Nietzsche proclaimed “God Is Dead” with his seminal philosophical work, he had a point. The “God of the gaps” theory was being dismantled with every new discovery. Automatic laws determined the ways things were, no God was necessary. When Soviet propaganda boasted that their man went to space and did not encounter God, they were drawing on images of heaven being in the sky. When God was not there, this idea too lost all of its weight.
Several philosophers, scientists, and comedians have rightfully poked many holes in the cultural phenomenon that God inhabits. And yet, no matter how many times you throw God out of the door, God reappears right behind you. Are all these valid thinkers missing the point? Is there something about God or a divine force in the universe that is being forgotten when we look under the bed and into the rainbow?
The idea that we are here and there is somewhere for us to look is fascinating enough to indulge further inquiry. Is it possible for a mechanical universe to be perpetual, and if so, how? Is it possible that an awareness like our own can be built from the ground up from seemingly random interactions in a strange bubble of time? Clearly, these things are possible, or we’d not experience them. What makes them possible, however, is something that is discussed and divulged in this in-depth and thorough examination.
This is not the word of God. It is the word of one man. This word is based on the life-long journey of over forty years so far. Having been brought up in a Christian family and exposed to religious thinking through-out my life, my views naturally were westernised in some form and indoctrinated to a certain degree. As I grew older, and mortality came into view, I naturally began questioning the whole story of eternal life in heaven. Since I was young I had been told that if I was a good Christian, I’d live forever. It sounded like a good deal to me as Christian values happened to align with my own. I had a maturity about me that began to doubt the story, as it became ever more far-fetched with each passing day. A process of Socratic questioning took place within my mind that truly examined the idea of God and the purpose of religion. It became clear to me that God was all or nothing and since I am surrounded by all, there must be something higher than myself, more fundamental in this vast complexity than myself, and something out there that brought material existence and time with awareness into being. What we think about God and what there actually is, however, is yet to be fully realised. Whether you believe in God or not, or any form of deity or not, the concept of divinity and divine will is prevalent in all our lives. The world we live in has been built on firm beliefs in a natural order to the universe that transcends physical processes. A moral and right order that causes things to flourish within the chaos of potential is something we have all grown up around. Rather than a dubious story about an invisible man, understanding God begins with understanding the world, ourselves, and our evident place in it. I hope this book helps to bring you closer to the idea of God, and if not, closer to those who are.
“It is not enough to be nice; you have to be good. We are attracted by nice people; but only on the assumption that their niceness is a sign of goodness.” Roger Scruton
This is not a book about God, nor is it a book about humankind. It is, in essence, a book about the space in between. Many sense this is always there and there have always been those who have dedicated their lives to understanding it. We cannot in all reasonability fully understand something so far outside of our world of comprehension that could be a source of all material, space, time, and the laws that govern them all. What we can understand is how the world we live in responds to our presence. The world bites back, it is a living organism that manifests as many separate entities and phenomena as possible that serve and hinder human life. There are forces at work in the world that cannot be manipulated or changed. The nature of reality itself is held together by a mysterious force and we, as a part of this reality, are also held together by this same mystery.
The source of the world, the reason for all things, and the drive to make it happen were and are of significant interest to people. The only connection we have with the source of everything and the reason behind it was in the way reality behaved. Reality, in its extent, is the experience of being alive and the information we can record about it. Through the experience of being alive and understanding the natural order of the world according to our actions we can begin to understand the place humankind has in the universe. The universe came from a place where our time and space were yet to be created and yet nothing can come from a source that was not already present in some form. Understanding the will or natural psychology of this source of material existence, and the awareness it has evolved to harness, is how we begin to bridge that infinite space between here and there.
The idea of God in some form has been prevalent since the time of recorded history, and probably for much longer than that. These ideas probably didn’t just spring into being upon the advent of written and pictorial language. They undoubtedly formed and blossomed then fruited across a long line of thinkers and generations. So, with this concept and idea system available for input for so long, we can be assured that modern society is based on this evolving idea-set at its most primal core. The laws we uphold and the social rules we instinctively follow can all be rooted in religious belief. The way we view ourselves in society and the things we aspire to achieve are based on inset systems of morals and ethics which are directly related to the idea of divinity or creative will in the universe. Thou Shalt Not Kill as a commandment to the early Judaic tribe of Moses is such a prevalent idea that it is echoed across the entire globe. We all agree on it, and it takes a great bureaucratic effort to negate this law. Death warrants and declarations of war are decisions only taken right from the top.
The idea of a divine will in the universe has been available and therefore has been a formative part of our global culture since the earliest days. Our traditions and processes are all concepts based on ideas that have roots in this ancient understanding of the world, with the most fitting and most successful ideas making it this far by nature of intellectual evolution. It makes sense then to appreciate the absolute necessity to understand this set of psychologies and theologies if we want to understand the world in general. With billions of people around the planet who openly believe in divinity or an ideal state in some form or forms, it’s naïve to simply shut ourselves off from this way of thinking. As the presence of religious and theological thought can be traced back to the origins of all aspects of modern life, we can understand that a comprehension of this particular vein is imperative to our ability to bridge gaps and refine ethics for our future time now and tomorrow. Communicating in a way that is conscious of this element of life that exists within every known structure in some aspect can help us to make better choices and have a better appreciation for the reasoning within inevitable cultural differences.
“Each generation has to create the image of God that works for it.” Karen Armstrong, A History of God: The 4,000-Year Quest of Judaism, Christianity and Islam
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Most people have some kind of hobby, an activity they do for fun and nothing else. Many amateur artists and musicians flood the scene with their valiant efforts at fitting in. Homemade creativity is one particular pastime that many enjoy. Even things that might not seem creative at first hand, like sports or watching films, involve all kinds of creative decision making. What do I do next, why, and what have I learned? There is a reason why so many of us love to get creative, use our imagination, and bring new ideas and objects into the world. It’s beneficial to us on many levels. Here are some well-known examples of what creativity at home can do for you.
When we begin to be creative, we are entering unknown territory. The psychology of this is deep. Unknowns are naturally frightening to us and even if it is on paper, we can experience a sense of apprehension. Overcoming this initial block is an exercise that can take a lot of practice. When we do it, we strengthen our resolve and experience the unknown. Doing this regularly can provide a serious forum for personal growth. Taking the plunge in our creative life can help us to do this in other ways too.
Bridge Mind And Body
Your body knows a lot. It’s a miracle of evolution that has taken millions of years to achieve its current state. The chemical and biological learning that has been applied to your body is vastly longer and more extensive than anything you can learn in a lifetime. The mind knows a lot too. A lot of life is based around human invention and human devised systems. The way we live our lives is mainly dictated by things that we have created ourselves for our own benefit. From governments to supermarkets, the whole modern lifestyle is a human invention. Our minds are necessary for this. We can also use our mind to learn skills and techniques. When we combine what we know about the world, artistic technique, and intuitive creativity, we can begin to let these aspects of our personality communicate.
The more we practice, the better we get. This natural equation gives rise to a sense of confidence. We may not be good now, but we know we can be if we work at it. That’s what real confidence looks like. Once we are good at something and have had success with it, our confidence can climb as high as we like. Sometimes it might get clipped down a bit, we all make mistakes, but in knowing that your efforts pay off in the end, nothing seems impossible anymore.
The act of creation can be transcendental. When we make something new from bits and pieces or various thoughts, we can discover that we can make ourselves and other people happier. For some it can be a spiritual experience, and other find that being creative gives their life a sense of belonging that reaches beyond the everyday. Having something to do that you enjoy and are getting good at is a healing and invigorating experience.
Declutter The Mind
We often have repeating images, notions, and memories floating around. They all compete with plans, desires, and concerns and we try to navigate life in the midst of all this. Creative output can give our mind a chance to drop this and concentrate on one or two things alone. Because we enjoy it and we find it absorbing, the escape from the many stressors of the mind can be a necessary respite. Like many echoes, these stressors can often lose their power and ability after only a few minutes of shutting them out. We find that the elastic has lost its stretch and they no longer cling to us.
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